Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
