I wannas sexs uuuuu
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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