The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
jump out the window naked night went bad
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
