She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
