Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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