I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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