I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
