I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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