my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
