Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I need water and some morals
Randomize