Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
