yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize