He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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