white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
