I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
