Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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