The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
