the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize