Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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