You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
