he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
