i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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