Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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