I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
