we have officially lost it.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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