Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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