Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize