I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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