I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
