So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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