so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
