I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
