tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You pole danced in your parka.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My vagina just clenched in fear
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
