so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
