today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
