Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
