i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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