I hope mine doesn't look like that
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
