Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize