I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
