Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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