Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
