just come out here and I will go home with you...
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
