Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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