I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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