Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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