hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
