had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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