Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
