Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
