but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
