but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
