I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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