I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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