put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
