I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
