So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
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