you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize