I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
