with your own penis?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My life is pants optional.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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