I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
