When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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